"Cause I am barely breathing"

"I can't find the air". Talk about a one hit wonder! Who can name another song by Duncan Sheik? Hell, I remembered the chorus, but had to google the artist.
Anyway, I'm still breathing on my own nearly 18 months after I said that I had 3-6 months before going on a vent. Ironically enough, I truly haven't decided whether a vent is in my future.
But I always leave the health update for later in my post, so why mess with good luck, which I still consider that I have, in spite of my bad luck that I got this God awful disease.
Anyway, i started to write this about 10 months ago. Now the title should read...

"Got vent"

In late November, right before Thanksgiving, i aspirated some vomit. For you that are medical morons, aspiration means something from your stomach going into your lungs. That led to Me being intubated, which if you have seen any episode of ER, you've seen it several times per episode. For those who are not ER Aficionados, that means sticking a tube down your throat so you can breathe. They literally do it several times per episode.

The next two Weeks (15 days) were pure unadulterated hell! Not that i wasn't well cared for. Quite the opposite. I fell in love with several nurses and evidently they fell in love with me too! Not that i wouldn't have made it without Propofol (yes, the same drug that killed Michael Jackson). My parents took turns staying with me 24/7. Thank God they are the most AWESOME parents in the world. Can you imagine not being able to talk or move in a hospital with nobody advocating for you? It wasn't practical to have my computer, so we did it the old fashioned way using the paper and letter sheet.
the transition home was quite the challenge. We all freaked out the first few times that we had disconnections. We figured that out and it's really easy if you can find those disconnections. Otherwise it's just packing me around with a ball and chain attached.

General musings.

How many times have you gone to the bathroom, pulled down your pants, skirt, dress, or kilt and sit mindlessly squarely on the toilet? Yes, i realize that the toilet is round or elliptical, but i mean sitting right where you want to sit without any thought. Well I'm here to tell you not to take it for granted any more. You see it's kind of hard to have a bowel movement (polite for taking a crap) when you are straddling the edge of the toilet seat or your asshole is sitting on the back of the seat!
Strangely enough, with the vent, i can't smell anything but very strong smells. I shouldn't have told my dad, but i can't smell him pass gas (fart) so he thinks he's got me by polluting my air but i can't smell it at all! Enough of the caca poopy commentary.
Back to to how I'm feeling.

After getting through the first few months, where i questioned why i had attached myself to this freaking thing I realized that i did it for my kids. They are all so special, in their own special way, but they each need me here to help with their unique problems and challenges. Trevor is going to Cuesta College, right near Cal Poly. Ryan just graduated from high school and plans on going to DVC. Kyle is having his challenges with his freshman year at College Park high school, but that little shit is so freaking smart, that I'm confident that he will turn it around in his sophomore year. My little baby Carly is going to be a freshman next year! Which means one of two things, I'm getting old or I'm living long enough to see my kids grow up.
Enough for now. I promise that it won't be over two years since I write again.
Love you all!

DD
NGU ONCE AGAIN! I think...